TEXT: I PETER 3: 1 – 11; JAMES 3: 16 – 18


As Christians, we are called to live peaceably with all men (Heb. 12: 14; Rom 12: 18) and this essentially begins at home.

Conflict in Family Relationship PROV. 17: 14; 15:1;

When it comes to conflict in relationships, Ken Sande says there are really only three kinds of people: peace-fakers, peace-breakers, and peace-makers.

  • Peace-breakers are prideful and power up. If they don’t get their way, they blow up, escalating conflict like gas on a flickering flame ( 26: 21; 29:22).
  • Peace-fakers avoid conflict or clam up trying to shove conflict under the rug out of fear ( 29: 25). See Peter’s fear in Gal. 2: 11 – 13. None of the two ways above is glorifying or healthy.
  • Peace-makers see conflict as an assignment, not an accident. They approach the problem with humility, reasonableness, and seeking wisdom from God (James 3: 17 – 18). They do not intimidate, but they also do not hide. They expect conflict, embrace the opportunity to resolve things biblically, and have an urgency to keep unity in the midst of hard times –Rom 12: 9 – 21; Psalm 139: 23 – 24


The Source of Conflict

Don’t you love it when God answers our most profound questions?! Hey, why do we fight anyway? Why can’t we just get along? Read this passage in James 4: 1 – 12, which gets to the heart of the problem.

What Can We Learn about Conflict from This Passage?

  • The enemy is within us: We see early in this passage that conflict is internally motivated before externally manifested (your selfish passions are what you fight about most… even good desires have a way of morphing into demands!)
  • It’s not just what we want; it’s how much we want it: where are you coveting?

 We need to get our eyes on our own sin! (Where are you trying to change someone else?) If she only would…. if he quit….

 God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble: Godly humility makes a world of difference (where do you need to repent, mourn, and stop contributing to the fight?)

 Keep walking in repentance not judgment (where has resentment or bitterness crept in… and made you a judge not a keeper of the law?)

Remember, those who are in Christ are called to be peace-makers –I Peter 3: 11